The (Other) Question

Okay, so the last week before I asked you out wasn’t a race exactly, but it felt like one. Coming up on three weeks after we met and we were on the verge of starting a relationship – that was an intense time, and possibly looked insane to outside observers. None of my friends who I kept in the loop of events had anything negative to say about it; Rue only said to be sure that it’s what I wanted to do, Christi was mostly out of the picture by that time, and Candice was all for it. In my mind, the one recurring thought was, “when you meet the one you will be with, you’ll know it, there won’t be any need for analysis”. You were that one person for me. I found it hard to pay attention to others in that time, because all I wanted to do was talk to you, spend time with you, share things with each other, and so much more.

All of that could only come once I summoned the courage to ask you to be my girlfriend. But…how was I supposed to do that? The adolescent version – “will you go out with me” – was the only one I’d ever tried, and the last time that happened was in high school. How did adults start relationships? I spent hours reading stories and advice from couples who transitioned from dating to a formalized relationship, searching for that moment of transition where it all hinged on a question and an answer. What words did they use? Was there a specific setting that was appropriate? Given our history up to that point, would I need to be completely sober for you to believe it was genuine? Is all of this too soon? I had just about worn myself out asking these questions and searching for answers. Ultimately, by Wednesday August 19th, I got it in my head that all I could do was ask. I felt pretty sure you would say yes, but you couldn’t say yes to a question that was never asked. I just needed to ask you. The words would come when the moment came.