Sincerity Beers

Friday August 21st felt calm. Smooth. Work went by without any real issue. I kept in mind that we were meeting at Plucker’s, and that I would meet your friends Jen and Victoria that night, who I hoped to make a good impression on, so long as I could keep their names straight. I went through my shirts much as I always did, tossing out rejects before settling on a black v-neck. The blue suit jacket would be a nice addition, something to add formality to the event. It never occurred to me that the whole damn thing looked weird. I left my house for the long drive up to Plucker’s feeling more than ready to ask you to be my girlfriend that night.

…only I didn’t expect to arrive before you did. I psyched myself up the whole drive, ready to jump right in it with all three of you present. At first, I worried that I’d somehow landed at the wrong restaurant, a concern that Google was more than happy to put to rest. I let you know that I’d arrived, to which you replied that you were running a bit late, but would be there soon. Waiting inside, my nerves came unglued. I kept telling myself that I needed to stay calm and relax, that I shouldn’t drink to try and stay calm, and that all I needed to do was be myself, be sincere, and ask you if you wanted to start a relationship with me. No biggie.

When you, Jen, and Vicki all arrived, I tensed up and forgot literally all of that “calm down, chill out” advice. Totally out the window. I chugged those beers, ordered wings that were on the verge of being too spicy, refuse to admit that they were too spicy, and just smiled and laughed. It was one of those self vs public perception things – I thought I was handling things well, but I couldn’t help but think that the three of you saw me as a drunk, slobbering mess with a fondness for incredibly spicy foods who couldn’t handle a meet-and-greet dinner that doubled as a date. And worse, someone who overdressed for the whole damn thing, given that you wore a pink shirt and jean shorts. The phrasing of the question I’d obsessed over escaped me, and I was determined to finish my beers and ask you in whatever form came to mind first.

With a little prodding (oops), I finally asked around 9:40 that night. You said yes, and I stood to use the restroom. By the time I came back to the table, you had already changed your relationship status on fb, and I did the same soon after. Modern relationships for the win!

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